“Knead the dough carefully,” my wife chided me. “You should not be aggressive. If you don’t love the stuff, the chapatis will become uneatable.” Then came her surprising advice: “You should knead the dough as if you are handling a three-month baby.”
I am used to being instructed by my loving wife while partnering with her in the kitchen ever since the coronavirus-induced lockdown began more than a month ago. Like millions of men around the world, I am now washing dishes, buying groceries and assisting Kamaxi in making chapatis. In the process, I have discovered that kneading the dough is not a task that yields to masculine instincts – hard power, coercion and an expectation for quick results. Apart from being a good exercise, it is a fine art that requires patience, attention and care. If the wheat flour is not mixed with the right amount of water, and pressed meticulously and uniformly, the chapatis won’t cook evenly.
Women recognise the need for this balance. When they cook in the kitchen, they pour in unrecognised, undervalued labour without the braggadocio and toxicity that come conjoined with masculinity. Cooking is not a contest for them.
When Kamaxi, a professor of preventive healthcare in a medical college...
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